Days in KE 7

Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Well, in the last post, I said that I will write more "tomorrow". Unfortunately, tomorrow never came. Haha....

I have been keeping myself busy with Float. Not that I am part of the team, it is just something I do out of curiosity and because I will never get to join a holiday committee next year due to internship commitments. The past week was particularly interesting watching how the artistes and engineers go about doing their duties; the artistes busy with their scaling and artwork and the engineers constructing massive wooden and steel structures. Trust me, float is a lot of hard work. I just cannot fathom how the floaters have the stamina and motivation to go on day after day working from 9 am till God knows when. Wish them all the best for the upcoming NUSSU Rag Day, a day when all the halls and faculties will display their float for us to see.

Also, being with the floaters for a week plus already taught me many things. Especially what happened today. I was asked to determine the centre of a circular wood cutting. Having left my geometry after school, I was totally clueless. Alright, with Kee Hong's help, we did manage to come up with a strategy to determine the centre, using the property that the angle of a semicircle is 90 degrees. However, I created so much of a fuss that I looked stupid. So stupid to the point that people actually questioned how the hell can a university student not know such a simple task. I felt terrible. Not only am I not able to help, I might be causing them a hell lot of touble. Why am I always not capable of practically coming up with solutions, why am I always not able to use my common sense. The final blow came when someone questioned how can a Faculty of Science Dean's List student not know how to determine the centre of a circle.

To think about it, I have practically nothing left in my life that I am good at except for what is mentioned in the textbooks. I was never good with computers, never good at grabbing opportunities when they come and maintain only a small circle of friends. I'm never good with woodwork/ steelwork/sports/ outdoor activities and things that require common sense. I dread to think of the day when I am living alone and will need to call the plumber every single day for some minor leakage that a normal person can fix using common sense. I dread to think of the day when I will be cheated by advertisements or conmen simply because I am too naive. I am too stupid perhaps to live a life.

What is wrong and why did I end up like this? Perhaps I was too sheltered as a child. Fed when hungry and comforted when I throw a tantrum. Everything will be handled by Mum and Dad. Maybe it is not a good thing when your parents love you too much. You will end up being dependant, not able to stand on your two feet.

What an important life lesson that I've learnt in just one week that I am back here in KE Hall. Indeed, my hall has people with so many different talents and capabilities that I am just a nobody. I will need to change my outlook of life and drill in some common sense, plus street smart strategies to survive in the harsh environment of Singapore. Thrown into the sea, one can only sink or swim. I never know how to swim.

2 comments:

Kok Hoong said...

"To think about it, I have practically nothing left in my life that I am good at except for what is mentioned in the textbooks. I was never good with computers, never good at grabbing opportunities when they come and maintain only a small circle of friends. I'm never good with woodwork/ steelwork/sports/ outdoor activities and things that require common sense."

You are not alone to feel this way, Gavin. Don't fret. ;) I myself dreaded politics in office where one day I will be sidelined by rivals ^_^" It's truly evil, but it's part of corporate life.

In fact, what you speak in that paragraph above does similarly reflect my lackings.

I remember this motivation mantra from model Amber Chia's autobiography. If not mistaken, she said something like "Success comes from challenges/failures" Without failures, we won't know what to succeed.

Touching on your part, I myself have face challenges because you know, we are not really taught to express and think ourselves back in school times. "Just follow the textbook" is what we commonly hear by exam-scorer experts.

At least, you know what you are unable to do. It's not wrong, but ensure you work out from it.

Also, it's better not to compare yourself with others. That will put you down. Different people found success in different time. So, keep going, even if you're slow. But never give up.

I'm spoilt, pampered too. But I don't blame my parents. We just don't realize what future will do to us, until they hit us. Yet, what makes me learn with determination comes from my ex-girlfriend. Funny, our break-up lead me to realize how much I lack in commitment in relationships. Since then, I work hard to improve myself. I must say, the trauma is unbearable, but this crisis gave a strong impact to me to learn. ^_^" (And I'm still in the process of improvement now)Although I feel lonely because she is unable to see my improvement, I find love in this task because the result will benefit society, job and family. Ok, I will tell you what I'm learning now: Be more sensitive, caring, and gentleman. Learn proper grooming (because I don't give a damn on fashion nor etiquette last time)

Did the people who questioned you give you a strong impact? If yes, draw strength from it into a determination. It sounds like easy said than done, but I'm your living proof. As I mentioned just now about my relationship, rose is not without thorns. You have to hurt your hand if you want to hold it. Love is not like a bed of roses too. Nothing flowery. (But don't let this scare you in your future love :P)

Most importantly, don't let yourself continue to be in despair. Just remember, it is a key of falling down. It's ok to feel sad once in a while, but after this, stand up and march forward. Don't forget to have support from your friends & family, they are your fortress and compass, and to sustain you from feeling down. ;)

p/s: My dad likes to say this thing: "Go out and get yourself shot!" What he means is, commit more mistakes so that you can learn to succeed more.

Regards, your SMKBL friend,
~Chong Kok Hoong~

p/s2: pardon me if i sound like a preacher :P

Gavin Cheah said...

You are very encouraging. Indeed, I really want something else out of my life besides studies. Putting studies as a major priority can turn out to be a mistake when you realize you cannot even do the simple things in life anymore, when you realize you don't take enough time to appreciate the things around you. I hope I can change soon and hope that you will strive for a change too. I want to be a more matured person, someone with sound decision making skills. I do not want to walk out of university being a total geek. Jiayou together!!